- im starting with the man in the mirror
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hoov15
- June 26th, 1:19
Ok, I feel compelled to post about this.
First, let's set up a few pointers. This post about Michael Jackson does not mean that I don't care about Ed or Farrah. I think they were both important cultural icons. And I'm not blaming this on the fact that there is a generation gap and that I'm "too young" to care much about those two. I recognize their significance and the significance of their deaths. They are just as sad. I just don't have as many memories or worthwhile things to say. Is that horrible? I don't think so, because I don't know any of these people.
Having said that, here goes.
I got a little choked up about MJ today. Lauren called me to tell me that he'd had a heart attack. Not a half hour later she called me to tell me he'd passed. I can't believe it, I really am shocked. I'm not beside myself or anything, but I am shocked. It's like he's always been there. I know that's awe inspiring and all. It's kind of like Elvis has been dead my whole life. That's how I saw him. A great musical icon, that had passed before I was born. Well Michael has been that great musical icon that's been there my entire life and I guess I thought it would always be that way. I never spent too much time thinking about him. Yeah he went through the crazyness, the man was not well (and I don't just mean in the end, I don't think he's been well since he entered the business as a child.) The crazyness doesn't change how I feel about his music. Sometimes I can separate the man from the music and sometimes I can't. It depends on the situation I guess. In most cases I think that without the man, there'd be no music and the flip side as well. I choose not to separate the two. With MJ I've been able to separate I guess and I'm not sure why.
I remember seeing his videos on MTV when they were new. Not a tribute or an anniversary of the release of Thriller or anything.
I remember we had this video of Alvin and the Chipmunks when I was a kid. I'm not sure what it was for, but I remember that Will Smith hosted it and Alvin went through all these different decades of music. That little chipmunk danced side by side with MJ in the Smooth Criminal video, the Beat It video and I think Black or White but I don't remember exactly.
I know that Thriller is one of the albums that my mother had on vinyl when I'd sift through her old records.
I remember the Black or White video like the back of my hand. I remember being really creeped out about the people's faces shifting into other faces at the end of the video.
I remember the Madison Square Garden TV special. I watched that thing over and over again. I was trying to study him. How he moved, how his movements changed in the old videos I'd seen and that particular stage show. I wanted to see if I could figure out even a little bit how he ticked.
I remember singing Heal the World in elementary school.
We listened to Thriller every Halloween.
I remember learning the dance to Beat It (and I still know it, that shit stays with you.)
I remember singing Scream at the top of my lungs with my crazy freshman roommate in college.
The things that I remember about Michael Jackson span, literally, my entire life. It's difficult for me to wrap my head around. I'm not devestated. I'm not holding any memorial services. I'm sad yeah, but it's not leaving me a mess. It's just bizarre. I think that I'm going to remember all of those random things instead of focusing on the molestation charges and the baby dangling and the im black but im white but im not things. It's not that those things weren't significant in his life, they just have nothing to do with the reason why I liked MJ. I dig his music. That's what I'm choosing to focus on. And for the rest of the evening I will listen to my little collection of his stuff. I really like 'You Are Not Alone,' 'Remember the Time,' 'Smooth Criminal,' and 'Wanna Be Startin Somethin.' I always hated PYT and You Rock My World.
I guess I felt compelled to write all that because this is one of those "I'm going to remember where I was when I heard it," type of things. No matter what you think of the guy, I definitely think that people are going to miss what his influence represented, even if they don't actually miss him. I guess that's what happens when the world turns you into an icon.